Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Toasted Coconut Vanilla Limeade

I find it hard to walk through life without the constant pressure of negative thoughts.
For me, there is always the worry that things are not what they seem.

I do anything in my life and wonder if I should be practicing instead.
I practice and wonder if I'm not being the most efficient with my time.
I study at a great school that I'm lucky to attend, yet always wonder if it is truly the right match for me.
I write on this blog and I wonder if people will not like what I say.
I eat, and then I wonder if I could've eaten something healthier.
I study music and I wonder if I made a mistake not going into academics.
I perform, and I wonder if someone in the audience is frowning on my playing.
I go outside, and wonder if strangers don't like the impression I give them.
Most of all, I have constant worries that my friends are not truly on my side. That acquaintances secretly think lowly of me. That boyfriends may not love me as much as they say.

I live in a bubble of fear with every decision and action I make. With each day of my life, I hope I can get closer to discovering the reason why I feel this way. But for now, I hope I can bring a different perspective to myself and anyone who might feel these same pressures.

If we can't ignore these constant negative thoughts, how could we ever enjoy the present? We can't just rely on waiting for the present to be over, evaluated, and deemed good or bad in order to appreciate the things that happen in our life. Imagine a day when you wore what you wanted, said what you wanted, ate what you wanted, did what you wanted, and smiled the whole way. I've lived that day before and it is glorious! And believe it or not, people will be attracted to your freedom.

But it's hard. At least for me. It takes endurance and faith that life was meant to be good and that you were meant to be loved.

Here's a challenge:
Just for a day, go outside and just be you. If "you" is not sculpted yet, do it that day. Do it for yourself, and no one else. I dare you.

"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." - Unknown (not Albert Einstein!)


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